Det. Amy Santiago

gen texts

2019-06-02T04:24:12Z

here

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tfln

2019-05-31T16:37:04Z

01. Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?

02. What the fuck happened to the kitchen. If you did this, I'm killing you.

03. I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.

04. Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?

05. [Text her.]

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midnight texting

2019-04-21T16:17:29Z

here

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tfln

2019-02-15T18:11:17Z

1. He didn’t agree with you so you tried to toss him out of the window.

2. On a scale of 1 to 10, how concerned should I be?

3. we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons.

4. I'm not going to proofread your sexts for you.

5. [Text her.]

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bureau of communications meme

2019-02-02T23:26:56Z

here

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tfln

2019-01-25T19:34:22Z

1. You walked right into the door. Even the door and security guys were laughing.

2. I HOPE YOU'RE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW.

3. The alcohol is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.

4. You mean full wolf form wasn't a drunk text?

5. {Text her.}

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navigation

2019-01-22T21:51:48Z

{permissions // how's my driving? // IC contact // overflow // visuals}

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Weekly Round Up 11/20 through 11/26/17

2019-01-11T20:09:21Z

( Read more... )

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picture prompt meme

2019-01-11T17:02:29Z

here

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tfln

2019-01-11T16:31:24Z

01. You leaned over to me and whispered ‘how long do I have to pretend to be sober?’ within seconds of crossing the doorway.

02. Are you asking me on a date where we get shitfaced and do some fingerpainting?

03. You were drunk and kept complimenting my ponytail.

04. That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semicolon. And yes: I am turned on.

05. [Text her.]

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det_alwaystaysloyal @ 2019-01-04T18:19:00

2019-01-04T23:20:07Z

01. I need you there. I need some to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.

02. Here’s the thing: kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.

03. Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.

04. I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come

05. [Text her.]

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gen texts

2018-12-09T18:03:35Z

here

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midnight texting

2018-11-19T01:30:31Z

link

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Inbox

2016-11-12T04:50:16Z

text / voicemail / email

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How's my driving?

2016-11-12T04:44:38Z

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